Advice

Hey Rose,

I am a 20 year old college student, and I bit my nails for as long as I could remember. Here at school I saw other girls with pretty, long nails or cute manicures and I was just plain jealous. I've tried the bitter stuff, fake nails and acrylics. The acrylics from nail salons are the only thing that slightly worked, but when they came off the nails were so weak they broke and I bit them again. Nailbiting is definitely a form of obsessive compulsive disorder from my point of view, needing the nail to look just so, having no rough edges, the hand to mouth fixture, etc. I know that if I have a chip or split, that is a warning light and I'll be biting soon. I haven't bitten in about 2 months and I'll share some ideas. My boyfriend likes having his back scratched, so that was an incentive for me to grow my nails. It feels really good when you can itch your arm and actually feel something too! He also quit smoking at the same time I stopped biting, so I thought, if he can do it, I can do it. On the tip of each of my fingers, on the skin I wrote the letters Q U I T. For the 5th finger or thumb you can put an ! or an unhappy face or something. This is so when you go to bite, the message will tell you that you shouldn't bite! Another great remedy is to buy nail strengthener and apply it to your nails as often as you need it. This makes your nails less prone to chipping and breaking, etc, which causes most to bite. You should also carry a nail file around with you EVERYWHERE to smooth out any imperfections right away. I topped the nail strengthener with a translucent pink color so I couldn't see any imperfections in the nail, yet I could still see through the color to note the progress of the nail growth. Regular manicures, no matter how short your nails are, are great to make yourself feel proud, get healthy nails, and speed the growth process. Everyone can overcome this problem if I did! Good luck everyone!

The Comments Have Helped Me

Thank you for this site. All of the letters have already helped me. I bite the skin around my nails. In observing myself, reading all the psychological analysis...I'm viewing this habit as that- a habit. There's a satisfaction that is basic here. I do not do this when I am bored, stressed, worried, etc. I do this when there is skin to peel. When I have succeeded in not biting, as when it is very humid and my skin is not chapped, I can successfully not bite. Cotton gloves, that can be found at any drug store are a real help in experiencing the new habit of not biting. I put moisture cream on my hands then the gloves and it is a very helpful aid. But it seems to require is a willful decision to arrest the tendency to bite 'just this one time'. To allow 'imperfection' to remain. To know that a worse imperfection will result. To allow myself to be imperfect that I may fail, but I will immediately follow again with the willful decision to resist. This will work. It worked with a weight problem that I had many years ago and do not have now. You finally do break the habit, with persistence.

This Product Has Helped Me

I found a product. I initially bought it for my puppy and accidentally got some on my hands. I went to bite my fingernails one day and whoa!!! Let's just say that I will never put my fingers in my mouth again with this stuff on them. Now, the trick is, I have to make sure I use it daily. It even stays on after a good hand wash or two. I checked with the vet to make sure I was not in danger of getting sick form use of this stuff. She said no. I think she plans to market this stuff as a remedy for humans now. One can purchase it from a pet store. It does not dry out my cuticles, and is not visible. (deleted) Please suggest this to others. I am amazed with this, and it all happened by accident. I am a compulsive nail biter (just new growth nail) and it is just dirty habit that I am working on breaking. I keep a bottle in my desk at work (where tension and stress occur the most sometimes) and I am amazed.

Just my 2 Cents

Warmest regards

Good Luck To All Those Nailbiters Out There

I am 30 and have bitten my nails for as long as I can remember. My sister who is adopted also bites. The only time that I have been successful at stopping was when I was about 5 months pregnant. I just stopped. I had no desire to bite, I did not feel anxious or anything. My nails grew long and looked really good. Well, to say the least about 6 weeks postpartum, it started again. I really and truly believe that it is a hormonal or chemical imbalance. I am going to try and purchase (one of the advertisers that advertised one of their products here) and see how it works. I have tried everything also. My husband gets so angry and I am so embarrased. And lets face it, our hands are the dirtiest part of our body.....think about all the germs and things we touch every single day. Good luck to all those nail biters out there!!!

It's Good To Hear About Real Nailbiters

Dear Rose, (nibble, nibble, nibble), I enjoyed your websight, (crunch, munch). It is good to hear about real nail biters. People keep telling me nail biting comes from nervousness or boredom. I never have time to be bored and am not a nervous person. I feel three things about my nailbiting (with me since I got my first teeth to bite them with):

1. it is connected to frustrated or held back physical energy. I do not bite my nails when performing - I am an actress and clown- I don't bite them during sex or when walking in the woods or on the beach or swimming or playing with my kids or working in the garden. I do bite them in front of the TV, the Computer, in the theater, while reading, drawing, writing, daydreaming and planning things. I do bite them worse when feeling frustrated over something...LIKE BEING A NAILBITER!

2. I like the look of elegant nails but I HATE the feel of them. Each time I stop for a month, sometimes half a year, the long nails are like having a thimble at the end of each finger blocking off a sensitivity/awareness/energy .

3. And, lastly, I sort of cut myself in two when I am nailbiting, the half that is doing it and the half that switches off for a moment and doesn't connect to the action. It is as if I am doing it behind my own back before I notice and I am getting away with it! And if anyone else should dare comment or remind me to stop, it is the looking away part of me that feels outraged and indignant at them. OK already!!! I feel angry and guilty not so much because of biting but because I should have noticed myself, because I should be able to master the wild, untamed me which probably would be way wilder were I not a nail biter. (Crunch).

Warmest (nibble) regards, bite, bite,

I Thought That I Was The Only One

Hi Rose. I am 35 and would have started biting my nails probably around the age of 4. Actually, it is the skin around my fingers more than the nail that I bite and I have noticed a few others on this site who do this as well. I thought I was the only one who did this. I am a teacher and it is so humiliating when (and you know I have to do this on a daily basis) I am trying to write out a question for a student, and I can see/feel them staring at my red, raw fingers. I hate myself in those moments...but I still do it. I have gone the most, a couple of months, but I always start again. I hate it so much....but the thing is, even though I know I hate the way it looks, I find such comfort in doing it. I don't understand...but I guess this must be what its like for smokers: I don't really WANT to quit. (but I do) I do suffer from anxiety, depression and impulsivity and I have ADD. I think they all connect. Is there hope??? (please?)

I'm 14 years old!

Hello, I'm Marcus and I'm 14 years old and a freshman in high school. I an SO GLAD that there are others who have the same problem as I do. I have been biting my fingers (actually the skin around the nails) and I am really pissed because I can't stop. I have been doing this since I was 8 or 9 I think. I am embarassed even to expose my hands and fingers to other people. Although I try to be very social, when other people see my fingers, esp(ecially) girls, they go "ick, gross, ew!" and this makes me SO SAD. My fingers, esp(ecially) my thumbs and index fingers, look like they've been through a meat grinder. It looks even worse after they've been soaked in water, like after I shower or swim. Also, I bite it unconsiously while reading a book or watching a movie. Even worse, I enjoy playing the piano, working with art, and doing other things involving my fingers, and my fingers are very annoying because they hurt sometimes because the skin layers are too thin. The reason I can't stop is probably because everytime my skin starts growing back, there are extra bumps and layers of skin that stick out, and because I want my fingers to look normal, I bite those protrusions but I end up biting too much, and then this process repeats, repeats, REPEATS!

About genes and heredity and that stuff, actually, my mom bites her fingers every once in a while, and my younger brother bit his fingers and toes (I can't do that), but he completely stopped almost a year ago.

I'm a cool person, I'm funny and smart, and I work hard, but my finger biting makes me look like a stupid ugly idiot and not the great person I really am! I'm sure the severeness of my biting is not the worst it can be, butI don't want it to get worse! I really want to STOP IT NOW! THANK YOU for making me feel better now that I know many people have this problem too.

Powerful Addiction

I really appreciate all the comments people have. Diversity is great! I'm a terrible nail biter and am embarassed of my nails. I have to make an effort to ensure that no one sees my hands close up. It's quite a pain. But sometimes I am able to quit- for a while. I was able to quit for two or three years once, and was surprised to discover I had lovely hands and nails. But that doesn't help me now as motivation to quit again. How I quit on earlier occasions was with an fairly snug elastic band around my wrist. I would give it a snap on the inside of my wrist every time I put my hand to my mouth, but would allow myself to keep biting. But soon enough- within a week or so- the desire to put my hand to my mouth was overcome by the desire to not have red, painful welts on the inside of my wrist. I suppose it's a bit of Pavlov's theory. So, this method works for me, with a bit of concious effort at the beginning. But it also seems to require reinforcement as soon as I notice I am putting my hands to my mouth again, and that is the tricky part! An interesting note- I was able to quit smoking cold turkey, and have never ever thought of having another smoke again, yet I cannot quit biting my nails. For me it is the more powerful addiction. ~ A. N

You're Not Alone

Julie C - I've been biting my nails down to stubs since I can remember (the other day I saw a picture of me at 6 months old with normal nails and it made me laugh--it's probably the only one), and I'm now 31 and have just given up on trying to stop. I notice that when I occasionally stop biting the nails, I'll chew up my cuticles instead and that is way grosser looking than just REALLY short nails, so we'll stick to the lesser evil, I guess. I appreciate the guy who said he's attracted to bitten nails... don't think any of my past boyfriends would say that exactly, but none of them were ever hung up on making me quit. My ex-husband and several of my good friends also bite their nails, and we've all agreed that when we do force ourselves to stop, SOMETHING DEFINITELY FEELS WRONG. So we're like a little club. Some creepo said to me once, "You know Julie, when you bite your nails like that, it's like you're letting people know they can GET TO YOU." Well, yeah, and obviously CERTAIN creeps like to take advantage of that. But I generally don't associate with people who look for your emotional bruises and then poke them. Hopefully the guy who's attracted to bitten nails isn't that kind of sadist. Anyway, I haven't noticed that my career or love life has suffered due to my habit, so it's actually become a dead issue, aside from when I go home and my mom clucks at me. I agree that there are awkward moments: showing off a ring or having a guy kiss my hand, or pointing out a picture in a book is mortifying. But having someone kiss the tips of your fingers because they love you is pretty great. So chew on. It beats cigarettes and SSRIs, is cheaper, and at least for me, it tastes good too.